When is it addiction?

Famous golfing guy Tiger Woods is reportedly spending time at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services clinic and is being treated for Sex Addiction. Yes, that’s right. Tiger is addicted to sex. Along with other innocent victims like David Duchovny, Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, Robbie Williams, Eric Benet, Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee, Billy Bob Thornton, Tom Sizemore and Gene Simmons. They’re all admitted sex addicts. Notice anything they have in common? Could it be that they’re all RICH AND FAMOUS? Could that be the root of their problem? Maybe? Ya think?

Ya know how you become sexually addicted? You become rich and famous, get married and fool around on your wife. Women like men who are rich and famous even if they’re married and tend to have sex with them, especially if they have close to a billion dollars in the bank, a private jet and a big yacht. Do you really think Tiger would spending time in a clinic and being treated for sexual addiction if he was a) Not a sports celebrity or b) Poor? Nope, not a chance. He would be what most refer to as a Horn Dog. He wouldn’t need therapy. He wouldn’t be paying exorbitant amounts of money to a sex therapist. He wouldn’t need a cure. He’d just be a horn dog.

Why is it that wealthy celebrities that sleep around and get caught are labeled sex addicts and need treatment in swanky clinics surrounded by supportive medical staff and paparazzi while the average married Joe that plays the field and gets caught is just an asshole? It’s because the wealthy celebrities are famous and have lots of money which, coincidentally, is the root cause of the addiction in the first place. Oh what a tangled web they weave.

Why aren’t there short, ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat sex addicts? Because women don’t sleep with ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat guys that want sex. However if they were ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat, wealthy CELEBRITIES with a private jet and a yacht then the dreaded sexual addiction would become their albatross. Oh the shame! Oh the suffering! Oh the chicks!!

So here’s my message to Tiger Woods and the rest of these idiots. Give up the money. Give up the fame. Give up the model wife. Your sexual addiction will magically disappear overnight and you’ll be just like the rest of us. Horn dogs.