The World’s Smartest Man?

Baba Dez practices Sex Magic, which is various types of sexual activity used in magical, religious, ritualistic or spiritual pursuits. He may be the smartest man on the planet or the biggest wanker in the known universe. I haven’t decided which applies but this guy, who could easily pass for the brother of Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers, has created his own nirvana in Arizona and makes good coin by rooting attractive, sexually confused hippie chicks. Ya gotta love the guy.

We recently subscribed to Netflix and have been enjoying a number of documentaries I would have never otherwise discovered. One of those documentaries is Sex Magic, a highly amusing romp through the life of Baba Dez, a polyamorous, sacred sexual healer. He practices his brand of sexual healing but not the kind Marvin Gaye sang about. He’s a hands-on kind of guy and actually gets paid to poke a variety of attractive though somewhat flaky women all in the name of healing. Pretty good, huh? He lives in a large, comfortable Arizona compound (it’s not clear if he owns or rents) and makes trips to Hawaii and other exotic locales to practice his craft. And he’s making a buck with this stuff too as his rates reflect:

Schedule a private session or conversation with Baba Dez and/or one of his associates. Individual sessions are 1-3 hours at a sliding scale donation of $200-$300 per hour at the clients discretion, depending on your income and value received. If you would like a double session, working with any two of us concurrently, the sliding scale donation is doubled per hour.

Nice work if you can get it.

There are moments in this film that I actually mouthed the words ‘Oh come on!’ as he helps his clients (sorry gay minority…no dudes) with their sexual problems, attends conferences (yes, there’s conferences for that too) and mixes it up with fellow practitioners. It’s a good life until Maya, the love of his life (one of them anyway) decides enough is enough and packs her bags to be with her new 27 year-old lover. It’s at that point I begin to question whether our buddy Dez is a brilliant architect of a lifestyle that rivals Hugh Hefner or a complete and total weenie. There’s a hilarious scene as he videotapes himself lying in bed at 5am lamenting his love for Maya, at times laughing and other times crying as he tries to make sense of it all. The bitch session lasts for hours as he contemplates a woman who won’t hang with a dude that’s plugging everything in sight and never fails to remind her of the fact. Gee…go figger.

One telling moment comes when an clinically obese, very unattractive 40+ woman seeks help from Baba Dez for her repressed sexual problems (I’m guessing that most of it originates from the fact that she weighs in at 290+ and has a face like an old potato) which stem from childhood sexual interaction with her father and uncle. The interesting thing is that she didn’t remember any of this shit until she turned 30. Ya know…after she’s attained mass equal to that of a Sherman tank. Anyway, rather than undergo the same vigorous sexual treatment as administered to past shapely, long haired, attractive clients, Dez instructs her to get it all out by yelling at a pillow and finishes the session with a fully clothed hug. From behind of course. I mean otherwise he’d have to see her old potato face, right?

The bottom line here is that good ol’ Dez has created a perfect life for himself that consists of bedding lithe nymphs, living in serenity and making a good living by bedding said lithe nymphs and living in said serenity. Even throwing a sexually confused potato head woman into the mix still doesn’t tarnish what this man has accomplished. Too bad he’s such a frigging weenie.

R&O

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