Burger Bullies

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that McDonald’s Restaurants is the official purveyor of fine food and a major sponsor of the 2010 winter Olympics. Who says loads of money can’t buy anything, huh? Can you imagine how many Olympic athletes adhere to a healthy diet of delicious McGrease burgers and fat fries? But these artery clogging saturated fat pushers are the official restaurant sponser of the sports spectacle we call the 2010 winter games. It’s like Clifford Olson hosting the Variety Show Of Hearts Telethon.

So you would think that a big mega-corporation like McDonald’s would be on its best corporate behaviour during the upcoming games. Well, you’re wrong. They’re busy bullying local chefs at the Four Host First Nations pavilion. It seems that professional chefs Arnold Olson and Andrew George have concocted some tasty haute aboriginal cuisine to welcome the world but it includes a trio of bison burgers served with sauteed wild mushrooms and Saltspring Island goat cheese. Ya know, the type of burger we would instantly associate with McDonalds, purveyors of small, greasy, tasteless, overcooked and unhealthy burgers all over the world. Hardly. There’s no way that anything that sounds remotely tasty would ever be confused with any of the muck that McDonald’s spews forth on the junk food consuming masses.

But to be sure, the McDonald’s big-wigs objected to Arnold and Andrew’s burgers being referred to as BURGERS. Yes, it appears that McDonald’s, unbeknownst to everyone but themselves, somehow magically own the rights to the name of the meat sandwich known all over the world as the hamburger which was arguably created at the turn of the 19th century (good evidence points to the first burger being made by Oscar Bilby of Tulsa in 1891). But McDonald’s is a sponsor and, like VANOC and their ilk, can call the shots and force their will on anyone associated with the event, including trained chefs who have prepared meals in top-flight European hotel chains and at Expo 86, where their aboriginal cuisine was a huge hit. They’ve been forced to refer to their burgers as sliders and have changed their menus accordingly. Ridiculous to say the least.

Who would possibly confuse anything that doesn’t taste like the wrong end of a hamster with any item on McDonald’s menu? Especially something that sounds as good as a tasty, low-fat Bison BURGER! Yeah, that’s right…BURGER! Take that McDonald’s!!

  1 Comment

  1. Johnny Vintage, Pork Rind Inventor   •  


    Keep your eyes peeled for a clown with a subpoena in hand!!

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