Internet Losers

loserWhen I first logged on to the Internet back in 1993 there was a wonderful lack of spammers, scammers, cheats and scumbags. It was a happy community of fellow nerds, reveling in the technical wonderment of it all and doing what we could to improve the technology. Not any more.

The Internet has been invaded by every lowlife piece of shit, from eastern European malware dickheads, Nigerian scammers, pedophiles, juvenile delinquents, bullies, terrorists and every other piece of human excrement that roam this planet. They have all found a home here on our wonderful Internet and continue to add a touch of misery to the magic that is computer networking technology.

Just like everyone with an email address, I get my fair share of spam, especially through this website and a few others I own. It’s usually from losers that think I need to know all about their pathetic service or ‘business’, usually a front for some kind of scam or ripoff. Most of the messages I receive are from morons that can barely speak english (the language they choose to communicate) or don’t have the minimum intelligence to compose a decent message or hide their true purpose…to steal and deceive.

The SEO magicians seem to be everywhere these days and most, if not all, are idiots that know little or nothing about search engine optimization. SEO is mostly bullshit anyway, at least the recipe that these morons are pushing. I wrote a piece about SEO some time ago and my thoughts haven’t changed since but these idiots continue to sell their garbage to any fool willing to pay. And to those considering spending anything on these ‘services’ I can tell you that you’re wasting your money and will most likely be deceived and ripped off.

seo_idiots3Have a look at the image on the right. This is the website of a business called from whom I received an email sent from the contact form on this site. They promise large increases in traffic and an end to my SEO problems. I don’t have SEO problems however they do because these search engine brainiacs don’t have an index page on their website. What you’re seeing in the image is the root of their wonderful website. It’s like they’re advertising auto repair services and don’t actually own a car. Or even drive. Or know what a car does. Or where to get one. Or how to spell ‘car’. Complete f’ing morons.

My most recent message via the contact form available on this site comes from ‘Jennifer Tan’, a spamming douchebag from her shit service called ‘Sent Simple’, a new type of spamming scum that employs low-paid workers to manually submit spam messages via contact forms on websites. Here’s her pitch:


I hope you dont mind me contacting you directly through your website, I thought it would be the best way.

Contact Form Submission marketing is one of the most effective ways to reach your potential customers.

We have launched a new service to take all the hard work of using this marketing strategy for you and I wanted to invite you to a totally free trial of the service so you can see how well it works.

There’s no strings attached. Just tell us who and where to target and we will do the rest.

Once we have done the sending you get a full report including the web address, email, phone number and social media profiles if available on their contact page.

We can only offer the free trial to the first 100 companies to respond, so avail of our free trial now at

Many Thanks

Jennifer Tan
Account Manager
Sent Simple

PS – The very fact that your seeing this mail is proof that this marketing works!

I love how she refers to her very crap service as a ‘marketing strategy’ and how the company’s website brags that they can avoid spam filters. Jennifer thinks that because I received her email message it means her shitty, spamming service actually works. Well Jennifer, it doesn’t. It labels your scumbag business as just another spammer and you, if you exist at all, as a complete moron. (Notice I didn’t link to this shit website? That’s because it may help their pagerank and actually give them some sort of credibility. It’s much better to just have my post show up in Internet searches when people are looking for information about their shit business. For example, do a Google search for Simon Swanwick to see how well this works.)

So will these c***s ever go away? Probably not but practicing some restraint, educating yourself and even exposing some of these dicks for what they are may make their ‘work’ a bit harder. They’ll probably just move on to another online scam but at least it makes things slightly uncomfortable and may help them realize that this crap isn’t worth their time and efforts.

Nah. It won’t happen, but it’s nice to think they may have a conscience. Or a brain.

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