The VSB Porn Workshop

Shocking! Horrifying!! 15 employees at the Vancouver School Board maintenance facility on Clark Drive have been caught looking at naughty pictures on the Internet. Quick…close all of the schools and protect our innocent children!!! Please dear God..protect the children!!!

Yes, it’s true. A number of lascivious, perpetually stimulated employees have been suspended with pay and the children are safe. Parents be advised that our school board is on guard against all naughty bits on the Internet. Phew…that was close!

So these employees were looking at porn rather than doing their jobs. OK, but you would think, based on the reactions of a number of government and union representatives, that they had smuggled ricin into each and every classroom rather than viewed a number of airbrushed breasts on a computer screen. Don’t the school board members know that *96.3% of students in each and every school in Greater Vancouver see more porn in a week than most of us saw in our entire teenage years. It’s true. The Internet is full of porn and it only takes is a 3 second google search to splash it all over your computer monitor. School board spokenman David Weir confirmed that “…we are investigating a situation. The VSB unions have been notified of a human-resources issue and the employees involved have been placed on leave wih pay.” He added later “I can confirm none of the information received so far indicates that any student in the district was placed at risk as a result of this investigation.” VSB chairwoman Patti Bacchus said that if the investigation finds “evidence of any inappropriate conduct…it will be acted upon very swiftly.

So let me get this straight. A number of blue-collar workers used a computer in the VSB worksyard to view porn. How the hell does that put any students at risk? And who’s watching these clowns watching porn? Their foreman should be pulling the plug and denying them Internet access at work if they continue to use a company computer to view Brittney sans underwear. That’s a given. But VSB members running around ranting about ‘the innocent children‘ and doing their best to protect them from the evil Internet makes me laugh and sounds a bit 1956 to me.

The unions involved are no better by positioning themselves to appear innocent and doing a bit of freelance finger-pointing rather than reining in their members and preventing them from wasting time and school board bandwidth. All the groups, board members, union reps and others deny member participation in the 2009 Mondo Porno Download Jamboree. For example:

– Rich Overguard, B.C. Teachers Federation spokesman reported that “As far as we know, it’s not a teacher because we haven’t been notified.
– Tim DeVivo, business manager for the International Union of Operating Engineers Local 963 said “this hasn’t involved us at all.
– Bill Pegler, national spokesman for CUPE Local 407 said: “I can’t imagine any of our members were involved or I would have heard about it.” (Perhaps he’s been too busy viewing porn on the Internet)
– CUPE Local 15 secretary-treasurer Betty McGee said her staff would assist in a grievance procedure if an employee had been suspended.
– District Parents Advisory Commitee (DPAC) coordinator Rosemary Wakefield said she didn’t know of any official notification of prarents or parent groups by the VSB about the allegations.
– Several DPAC executive members said they had no idea what the suspensions were about or when they occured and couldn’t comment. That was probably the safe thing to do, huh?

There’s one thing that none of the above representatives mentioned. These employees, well paid by our tax dollars, are wasting time and slacking off rather than doing their jobs. I don’t care of they’re viewing porn or watching a dancing dog video on Youtube.com, it all boils down to our tax dollars being spent on employees that don’t earn their pay. Now THAT’S what I find offensive!

*Percentage is approximate and based wholly on personal observations of fellow employees, my brother’s son, my next door neighbour and the teenage son of my wife’s girlfriend.

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