Three steps

Looking for something to do this weekend? May I suggest removing your own urinary catheter. I managed to remove mine and can now offer The Three Steps To Removing Your Own Urinary Catheter – Abridged Edition:

(Click the Play buttons for aural embellishment)

Step 1 – Motivation: My catheter was torturing me. The pain was akin to peeing molten lava from Hawaii’s Mauna Loa volcano.

Step 2 – Removal: Snipping the rubber tube allowed the balloon within my bladder to deflate. All that was required was to slowly, ever so slowly pull the rubber tube including the crystallized protein encrusted end piece from the bladder, through my urethra and out the end of Mr. Johnson. Piece of cake.

Step 3 – Completion: After removal you may feel the need, as I did, to run nude through a field of daisies. This is normal. Go ahead and run through a field of daisies.